Rainbow Parenting: Lived Experiences

We recently hosted a panel on the experience of being an LGBTQ+ parent, and the experience of being a parent to LGBTQ+ children. Speakers from various organizations joined to discuss their parenting journey, offering tips to parents who suspect their children might be LGBTQ+, and reflecting upon key moments of being a parent. They also revealed what they would do differently, if given the chance.

Mike Paladino, Global Head at Fitch Group, discussed the importance of allowing children to make their own decisions during playtime. Not only can it help broaden imagination, but it can also potentially provide an early indicator as to whether the child may be LGBTQ+.

“One thing I think is always important is to play with children when they’re younger what they want to play, not what you want them to play,” he said. “You think your children will be clones of you as a parent, but they’re all incredibly different not just from me but from each other. I would sit there and play Barbies or with dolls or play sports, or whatever it was that they wanted to play. Because I think it was important for them to feel like we’re playing on their terms, not trying to conform to others.

“Try to make sure that they feel individually rewarded about how they’re going about their play. I think it opened it up for [his son] to come out at a relatively early age and then be proactive in that community once he did.”

Claire Kennedy, Principle at Mercer, spoke about her concerns towards the anti-trans rhetoric in the media at the moment, and how reminiscent it feels to the homophobic narratives spread throughout the 80s. She particularly pondered on the impact of members of the LGB community perpetuating this transphobia, despite having faced similar discrimination.

“A lot of the reporting and rhetoric that comes out reminds me of the 1980s when I was at school and the conversations about gay and lesbian people. Whether I should be allowed in girls changing rooms and gyms. And exactly the same things are being said now about trans people, which is why it’s shocking that some parts of the LGB community have an anti-trans rhetoric because it feels exactly the same in terms of negative discussions around a very small minority group.”